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Autism Awareness and Reality TV: Thank you Meelah & Musiq of #RnBDivasATL

5/6/2014

So... Remember the LAST Time we had to talk about Autism Awareness and Reality TV? When we talked about how Rapper Saigon did 5 out of 6 things NOT to do when discussing the possibility of autism with the other parent? If you didn't, you can check it out on the Classy, Black Girl site.

When I heard that there was another child on the Autism Spectrum to be discussed on a reality I was ready to be mad. Seriously... I was all warmed up from the "Royal Blue for Autism Awareness" campaign and raring to go.

And in walks co-parenting couple Meelah Williams and Musiq Soulchild on RnB Divas Atlanta.

And they are awesome!

They are showing that with active listening, co-parenting CAN indeed happen. Yes, there will be some hard days... There are anyway. But to know that each parent is listened to and their opinions respected, that totally makes a different.

So let's use examples shown by Meelah and Musiq to talk about great tips for co-parenting a child on the spectrum:

Communication is Key: . Sometimes it just takes being calmly listened to to take the tension away. When you are listened to, ideas can flow and solutions can be agreed on.
Value Each Other: The best moment, I think, is when Musiq told Meelah, "That's your maternal instinct, I never want to get in the way of that" Listen...As a parent, you just want to know that you and your opinion are being valued. When you value the words of others, it calms the environment and shows everyone (including your child) that the focus is on making the best life.
Be Present: To actually "Be There." to be around when the insecurities come (and they will) and plans need to be made, to be there for each other is so important.
Take Care of Yourself First: When you communicate and value each other and are there for each other. You feel better about Self-Care and taking care of your needs no matter how small. You know when you get airplane instructions and they tell you to put the mask on yourself first? Well when you feel like you are getting help, you feel more secure in your situation to do things for you. You are important too.

Meelah Williams can be found on twitter at @ItsMeelah and doing great things for the Atlanta Area. Please give both her and Musiq (@MusiqSoulchild) support and love on this Journey.

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2013 "Must See" Blogs List

4/17/2013

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There are plenty of "Best Blogs" lists in the Autism Community. In looking at them, a lot of them are mostly the same: not much diversity, and not much different than the year before. We have decided to create a list of our own that shows the diversity of Voices among the Autism spectrum.

Here was the criteria used:

~The blog must be active
(honorable mention was given to great blogs that have not posted withing the last quarter.)
~Although there can be other items on the website, there must be a blog that speak on their experiences along the Autism Journey .

What makes our list different?

Well, because our perspective also includes knowledge of diverse and/or lesser known voices, our list will point out many sites that may or may not have seen on the more popular sites.

Here we go (in no particular order):

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The Politics of Protest: #Autism Edition

7/17/2012

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by Monika Brooks

So I’m watching Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta (Yes, I do watch it. Fight me…) and reading the live tweets as usual and the following tweet comes up:

“#LHHATL I think Stevie J may be on the autism spectrum. Serious.”

For those of you that are above watching the show, I will explain: He is a musician that says he has 5 Children by 5 different women. He is also a womanizer and a narcissist that you would not only not want near your daughter, you would pretty much not want her in the same state with him.

One woman corrected him, pointing out that just because he’s a horrible person, a link to the autism spectrum should not be made. Very good point as some folks can just be horrible with no diagnosis at all. The original poster noted that because of Stevie J’s Inability to check for social cues, that Asperger’s is his guess. The woman was unmoved and said simply:

"Because Stevie J is an idiot.....that should not be compared with autism"

Completely valid and handled with dignity and poise. No fanfare, no mass promotion. Just a simple correction of someone that heard of Autism and not experienced it first hand. Handled exactly how it should be.

Because the post I saw came from someone considered an academic, and he is basically well liked, and is considered a voice of the people, there will be no 50 Cent style outrage. There will be no “this is what Autism looks like” twitter stream of beautiful children and adults on the autism spectrum. There will be no letter from Holly Robinson Peete broadcasted on every form of media and Social Media.

Just like there was no protest of the movie “21 Jump Street (which featured a cameo of Mrs. Robinson Peete)” that had a similar “Are you Autistic?” joke. I’m not mad at all. There are specific reasons why certain things are noteworthy and others aren’t.

I am personally not mad at the fact that the person posted something that made him seem uninformed. And I am not going to launch a huge protest and here's why: It’s what I call the “Politics of Protest.”

There is no “money” in protesting a random person. There is believed to be no more political capital gained in defending folks on the Autism Spectrum to this person as it is for us to defend them against the grandparent, preacher or random parent that tells us parents of children on the Spectrum that we should pray or spank the Autism away.

As parents/advocates, we somehow feel more comfortable correcting celebrities than we do folks we know. We go all in on folks like 50 Cent, while folks like our teachers, relatives and neighbors are left uninformed. The presence of social media makes things easier as there is a safe level of distance between us and those we protest. We won’t get the look of disbelief or cynicism that we normally get when we explain the spectrum and our child’s place in it.

I would offer that there is more to Autism Awareness than to go after celebrities. We must be strong everywhere starting with the elder that doesn’t understand how you “allow” meltdowns to happen. Then spread out to the teacher that incorrectly calls your child a disciplinary problem instead of looking deeper. Individual protest is needed daily to provide the “protest” we seek for Autism and other Invisible challenges (ADHD, Dyslexia, Etc…).

And to that young lady that spoke out because she felt she should speak for those that can't speak for themselves, Thank you! You are part of the solution.

About the Author:

In addition to her position as co-founder of the Mocha Autism Network, Monika Brooks is a Leadership and Diversity Consultant, radio host, and Advocate for Parents with children on Autism Spectrum. She can be reached by email here.

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Autism Awareness and Reality TV: Thank you Meelah & Musiq of #RnBDivasATL

2013 "Must See" Blogs List

The Politics of Protest: #Autism Edition

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