About Sharisse Smith:
A mom of four, Sharisse was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, raised in the Southern California sun and remained in the golden state for three decades. This Real Housewife of Orange County New York turned her key in the OC of NY for five years before moving to a suburb of Seattle, Washington just in time for them to win the 2014 superbowl. Sharisse holds a MFA in Nonfiction from The New School’s Writing Program, an M.S. in Educational Counseling from The University of La Verne and a B.S. in Child Development from California State University, Northridge.
Sharisse’s work has appeared or is forthcoming in The New York Times, Babble, My Brown Baby, Ebony, The Los Angeles Review and Salon.
A mom of four, Sharisse was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, raised in the Southern California sun and remained in the golden state for three decades. This Real Housewife of Orange County New York turned her key in the OC of NY for five years before moving to a suburb of Seattle, Washington just in time for them to win the 2014 superbowl. Sharisse holds a MFA in Nonfiction from The New School’s Writing Program, an M.S. in Educational Counseling from The University of La Verne and a B.S. in Child Development from California State University, Northridge.
Sharisse’s work has appeared or is forthcoming in The New York Times, Babble, My Brown Baby, Ebony, The Los Angeles Review and Salon.
1: What was your first action item after your Son's diagnosis?
I love that you asked for the first action item after my son’s diagnosis. So often we are asked for our initial response which we most can agree is some stage of grief. But, the action response signifies power, control, and accountability even. With that being said, I turned into an information mama. I collected any information I could gather on Autism which, by the way, even only a few years ago was confusing. Only to be further complicated with an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) diagnoses. My quest for information was insatiable but ODD literature wasn't as easily attainable. Much of what I've learned about the disorder I've learned from my son. This is what prompted me to write my Ebony.com piece, Please Don't Kill My Son. I wanted to highlight not only autism but ODD as well.
2: How were your extended family and friends helpful?
To be honest, I don't have extended family and most of my closet friends live out of state. This can happen when you're a military family. My mother lives with us and helps out as much as her health allows but she's partially disabled. Any help we receive has to be paid for.
3: what does Autism activism look like where you are?
We're new to our area so I'm unfamiliar with Autism activism per se in my location. I live about an hour outside the Seattle area. I can tell you that I came prepared and knowledgeable on what services my son should qualify for. We moved during the summer, an already difficult time for some autistic children. The first transition, despite months of preparation, was not smooth for my son. Due to administrative changes at the time of our enrollment at a new daycare and the mishandling of paperwork, my child was treated in a manner unfitting to any child. I think I took it harder than he did.
That little mishap made me even more appreciative of the services we had at our former place of residence. I was determined to make sure my son was treated fairly. I resumed information gathering, placing calls to the Amundsen and various other professionals to assist me in obtaining the appropriate services for my son. As with most parents of children on the spectrum, I was already an expert on knowing what my son should have, the battle was getting and keeping those services in place for him.
I love that you asked for the first action item after my son’s diagnosis. So often we are asked for our initial response which we most can agree is some stage of grief. But, the action response signifies power, control, and accountability even. With that being said, I turned into an information mama. I collected any information I could gather on Autism which, by the way, even only a few years ago was confusing. Only to be further complicated with an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) diagnoses. My quest for information was insatiable but ODD literature wasn't as easily attainable. Much of what I've learned about the disorder I've learned from my son. This is what prompted me to write my Ebony.com piece, Please Don't Kill My Son. I wanted to highlight not only autism but ODD as well.
2: How were your extended family and friends helpful?
To be honest, I don't have extended family and most of my closet friends live out of state. This can happen when you're a military family. My mother lives with us and helps out as much as her health allows but she's partially disabled. Any help we receive has to be paid for.
3: what does Autism activism look like where you are?
We're new to our area so I'm unfamiliar with Autism activism per se in my location. I live about an hour outside the Seattle area. I can tell you that I came prepared and knowledgeable on what services my son should qualify for. We moved during the summer, an already difficult time for some autistic children. The first transition, despite months of preparation, was not smooth for my son. Due to administrative changes at the time of our enrollment at a new daycare and the mishandling of paperwork, my child was treated in a manner unfitting to any child. I think I took it harder than he did.
That little mishap made me even more appreciative of the services we had at our former place of residence. I was determined to make sure my son was treated fairly. I resumed information gathering, placing calls to the Amundsen and various other professionals to assist me in obtaining the appropriate services for my son. As with most parents of children on the spectrum, I was already an expert on knowing what my son should have, the battle was getting and keeping those services in place for him.
4: what is the biggest challenge and accomplishment you have had recently?
My biggest challenge and accomplishment, recently, go hand in hand. One of the areas my son struggles with is in his social interactions with his peers. I talk to him a lot about appropriate social interactions, model behavior etc but it’s difficult at times. He’s a very kind hearted kid but he favors adults. His conversations are more adult than six-year old-ish, and some of his behaviors are easier for adults to empathize with. In the six month of school he finally had a recess breakthrough and started playing a regular game of tag with about five classmates. Normally, his recess is spent indoors, on or near a computer, with an adult. It’s amazing something as simple as a game tag that I certainly take for granted with my daughter, and never thought twice about with my older sons takes on a whole new meaning with him. All the talking, modeling and coaching finally paid off one day on the playground. He’s now somewhat of a recess regular. An accomplishment.
The challenge is that in two short months school will end. Summer presents a new set of challenges for autistic children as their routines are severely disrupted. It is very difficult to mimic a school routine if one is not in school. My son loves school. So the social accomplishments most often stay with that school year, with that class—those classmates. We hope to have similar accomplishments in the new school year. Despite efforts in summer programs, the bonding time that my son has required in the past is just too short. He makes friends easily but is not a fan of groups nor change. My biggest challenge.
5: If there was one thing you wants people to know about autism, what would it be?
When your loved one is autistic, you can’t help but be an activist. Not everyone will march in a parade, run marathons, buy, sell or even wear royal blue t-shirts. But when they are fighting with and for their family member daily, living the many lows and celebrating the highs they are the activist and their loved one is their hero.
My biggest challenge and accomplishment, recently, go hand in hand. One of the areas my son struggles with is in his social interactions with his peers. I talk to him a lot about appropriate social interactions, model behavior etc but it’s difficult at times. He’s a very kind hearted kid but he favors adults. His conversations are more adult than six-year old-ish, and some of his behaviors are easier for adults to empathize with. In the six month of school he finally had a recess breakthrough and started playing a regular game of tag with about five classmates. Normally, his recess is spent indoors, on or near a computer, with an adult. It’s amazing something as simple as a game tag that I certainly take for granted with my daughter, and never thought twice about with my older sons takes on a whole new meaning with him. All the talking, modeling and coaching finally paid off one day on the playground. He’s now somewhat of a recess regular. An accomplishment.
The challenge is that in two short months school will end. Summer presents a new set of challenges for autistic children as their routines are severely disrupted. It is very difficult to mimic a school routine if one is not in school. My son loves school. So the social accomplishments most often stay with that school year, with that class—those classmates. We hope to have similar accomplishments in the new school year. Despite efforts in summer programs, the bonding time that my son has required in the past is just too short. He makes friends easily but is not a fan of groups nor change. My biggest challenge.
5: If there was one thing you wants people to know about autism, what would it be?
When your loved one is autistic, you can’t help but be an activist. Not everyone will march in a parade, run marathons, buy, sell or even wear royal blue t-shirts. But when they are fighting with and for their family member daily, living the many lows and celebrating the highs they are the activist and their loved one is their hero.