 1: What was your first action item after your Son's diagnosis?
My first action item was to request a recovnene meeting with the school district to amend my son's IEP. He needed more approproate services including an ABA SEIT and a 1:1 paraprofessional in the classroom. I dealt with the action items that needed to be tackled after his diagnosis before coming to terms with the emotions under it all. 2: How were your extended family and friends helpful? They provided a lot of emotional support. I also started blogging and through that I was able to expand my support system. My mom and father in law have been the biggest help to us in terms of hands-on support. 3: You are currently working with parents in the Bronx. What is the biggest area of need? Our biggest area of need is access to appropriate schools, resources, and support for our children. The Bronx is the poorest and most under served borough in NYC. We need so much. Through my support group, we hope to be able to provide support, resource information, and bring more awareness to the needs of Bronx autism parents. As an advocate, I have found a big gap in access to information on what our children are entitled to under the law in special education. 4: Your son is now in school. What has been the biggest challenge and biggest accomplishment of the school year? His biggest challenge has been getting him to be focused and attend during classwork and therapy. I have a great team with his teacher and therapists and we are working together to help him. His biggest accomplishment has been becoming an emergent reader. He can read short books. We help with the words he does not know but the interest is there and this is a huge deal for him. 5: If someone were to ask you to define your son in 10 words or less, what would those words be? He is resilient, motivating, inspiring and my reason for being.
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 About Sharisse Smith: A mom of four, Sharisse was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, raised in the Southern California sun and remained in the golden state for three decades. This Real Housewife of Orange County New York turned her key in the OC of NY for five years before moving to a suburb of Seattle, Washington just in time for them to win the 2014 superbowl. Sharisse holds a MFA in Nonfiction from The New School’s Writing Program, an M.S. in Educational Counseling from The University of La Verne and a B.S. in Child Development from California State University, Northridge. Sharisse’s work has appeared or is forthcoming in The New York Times, Babble, My Brown Baby, Ebony, The Los Angeles Review and Salon. 1: What was your first action item after your Son's diagnosis?
I love that you asked for the first action item after my son’s diagnosis. So often we are asked for our initial response which we most can agree is some stage of grief. But, the action response signifies power, control, and accountability even. With that being said, I turned into an information mama. I collected any information I could gather on Autism which, by the way, even only a few years ago was confusing. Only to be further complicated with an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) diagnoses. My quest for information was insatiable but ODD literature wasn't as easily attainable. Much of what I've learned about the disorder I've learned from my son. This is what prompted me to write my Ebony.com piece, Please Don't Kill My Son. I wanted to highlight not only autism but ODD as well. 2: How were your extended family and friends helpful? To be honest, I don't have extended family and most of my closet friends live out of state. This can happen when you're a military family. My mother lives with us and helps out as much as her health allows but she's partially disabled. Any help we receive has to be paid for. 3: what does Autism activism look like where you are? We're new to our area so I'm unfamiliar with Autism activism per se in my location. I live about an hour outside the Seattle area. I can tell you that I came prepared and knowledgeable on what services my son should qualify for. We moved during the summer, an already difficult time for some autistic children. The first transition, despite months of preparation, was not smooth for my son. Due to administrative changes at the time of our enrollment at a new daycare and the mishandling of paperwork, my child was treated in a manner unfitting to any child. I think I took it harder than he did. That little mishap made me even more appreciative of the services we had at our former place of residence. I was determined to make sure my son was treated fairly. I resumed information gathering, placing calls to the Amundsen and various other professionals to assist me in obtaining the appropriate services for my son. As with most parents of children on the spectrum, I was already an expert on knowing what my son should have, the battle was getting and keeping those services in place for him.  Written by Natasha Cornin of Full Spectrum Essentials My son's diet is deceptively simple. On the surface he appears to only eat bun-less burgers, grapes and sweet bread. He also drinks cold-pressed, homemade juice and takes occasional sips of water. With closer examination you may classify the aforementioned dietary items as delivery systems in my contrived, elaborate scheme to pack his meal plan full of fruits, veggies and pharmaceutical-grade vitamins and supplements. Jaeden follows a GFCF/Paleo hybrid diet and a biomedical vitamin/supplement regimen. As a result: I have totally removed gluten and casein from his meal plan. I focus on feeding my son organic, whole foods to create an alkaline internal environment that will optimize brain function and reduce inflammation. For one, I cook with ghee or healthy vegan fats, like coconut or olive oil, as opposed to dairy or soy-based butters. I've found that seemingly small changes can definitely add up to better digestion and vitamin/mineral absorption. I also add enzyme-rich Manuka honey to the cold-pressed juices that I make for him throughout the week. I infuse the juice with his vitamins and supplements and use his condiments, mainly ketchup, as a delivery system for digestive enzymes, nutritional yeast, and good fats like avocado, during meal time. I must admit, it felt a bit daunting when we began the GFCF/Paleo protocol. I mean, wheat and dairy are hidden in places you couldn’t even imagine, like milk in McDonald’s french fries! It became imperative to read every label or better yet opt for label-less whole foods, foods as close to the way they sprout from the earth as possible.  My daughter's name is Diavionne, but she prefers to be called Dee. She was diagnosed with autism on her 2nd birthday. At the time she was non-verbal, wouldn't make eye contact and preferred not to be held. Today, she's just like any other 7 yr old. She can read, write, and has an active imagination. Early intervention was truly instrumental! Brittney Jackson can be found on Instagram at @isp3ak_my_mynd “You know, the one thing I can't figure out are these girls real smart or real real lucky?”  As I get older, I find myself to be a Black/African/Christian-American Autistic lady variant of former Det. Jay C. Landsman, Det. John Munch and US/British Royals Marine Sgt. Brad Colbert.[1] I find myself a loner, hermit, and not liking people in general very much. I find myself quite hesitant to type these words. Between the micro-/macro-aggressions related to my race, gender and disability, being in my late 30s, frequent stretches of unemployment, aging parents and a niece to help look after, and being a “career” student, hustling (legally!) on little money, I am also observing myself to be bitter, sarcastic, mean, crabby, and, to a certain point, hateful – at home, of course! Kind and funny in the street, cross – and sometimes, even hateful in the house! Yes, I used the actual “H”-word. A “cranky Cathy,” if you will. But, hey, hatred and (when used correctly!) lets you know when something is amiss.
I find myself resentful to the high Heavens to being asked to have “understanding” and “compassion” for people who are different from me (i.e. White, and/or male) who behave in an inappropriate and disrespectful, and sometimes, dangerous manner, whereas, had I did the exact same actions, I would be (severely) punished (and should be!). A great deal of people would have a hard time believing that I am autistic. For Black people, especially Black women, they only believe two things: you are on drugs (esp. “crack” cocaine), or you are HIV-positive. Only White people, especially boys/men, are believed to be autistic, hence, the earlier diagnoses, and the ability for them to obtain help quicker in their lives than Black girls/women. Thankfully, I was diagnosed at nearly two years old. My sister and I were discussing a recent case of a White disabled male athlete, Oscar Pistorius who (allegedly) killed his girlfriend. I said to her: “Oh, my God, if that had been me, they would not have cared that I’m autistic! They would have been like, ‘Send that n****er b***h to jail!’” We laughed and exchanged high-fives, knowing full well that it would have been true. [1] I hope I am not coming across as anti-White/man/Semitic, but I noticed the following: 1) They are all White Jewish men; 2) Two of the aforementioned men are in the military/law enforcement, & one is a fictional character portrayed by an entertainer, Richard Jay Belzer, who shares the name Jay, only it is his middle name, and also, is the first name of Jay C. Landsman. Yes, we’re all human…but it’s something I just noticed.  My Son, Chauncey, is a very special boy. Not any more special than either of my older Sons or any of your Sons or Daughters for that matter. As with most parents, I was very protective of Chauncey as he moved throughout school but he always let me know that he had it under control. Educationally and socially, Chauncey was able to adapt to every situation and acclimate himself as a welcome part of his school family. By the time he entered Middle School, he was officially on a mainstream track and exceeding all of my expectations. Even with his Autism diagnosis (which he received at the age of 3 ½), Chauncey has proven to be a ‘normal’ 11 year old boy. If that’s the case, why was I so shocked to discover that my son … my sweet chunky baby boy … is becoming a man. I don’t know if it was Old Spice but someone sprayed a man on my Son.
By golly, I have another Tweener on my hands. Give me strength! Chauncey, Chunk for short, attended his Cousins 13th birthday party in March. I was shocked at how he showered, combed his hair, brushed his teeth and got dressed without my prompting. He knew that there would be dancing and food at the party and he was so excited to get there. When we arrived, he noticed the dance floor was filled with balloons. Chunk experiences anxiety around just one balloon … he hates to hear them pop. Fifty balloons proved to be terror and he spent a great part of the first half of the party outside. It was hard to watch but he continued to entertain himself so I didn’t bother him. When Chunk disappeared, I went to a few of his ‘hiding spots’ to see if he was okay. When I couldn’t locate him, I became afraid and almost went into a panic. That is until I saw a juggernaut rushing toward me. It was Chunk! He ran into me so hard that I almost fell to the ground. I asked him what was going on and he answered, “Mom!! You won’t believe it. Gabby is here. I have to overcome my fears so I can dance with her”. First … Who said you can like a girl so much that you’d knock your Mom to the ground?! Second … What can I do to help you calm down? |
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